It's Not Living If It's Not With You
by teensyears
Summary: Post ep for Hollywood A.D. — Mulder & Scully finally have THE talk. (The title is from a song by The 1975)


Never before had life appeared so full of blossoming possibilities in Mulder's eyes.

_The night is still young_, as they say.

The stars were shining bright in the sky, matching Scully's eyes. He swore he saw them spark more often. He's seen her happy, lately. Carefree. He liked to see her like this.

They both were different. A good kind of different.

The kiss shared on New Year's Eve left room for so much more: it was the start of something new, fresh.

There have been other stolen kisses since that time: fingers brushing, lingering touches, midnight confessions, more flirting and gazing, but the one thing Mulder couldn't help thinking about was their first time.

He couldn't find the proper words to describe it. Mind-blowing? Sure, but it wasn't just like that.

She came to him one night, the moon the only witness of their bodies and souls's union. She whispered her first "I love you" so softly, almost too quiet for him to hear. She held him tight and murmured his name over and over, like a silent plea, while he was rediscovering her again. Not Scully, but Dana.

_What if there was only one choice and all the other ones were wrong?_ She asked, hours before Mulder's room was filled with sounds of their love making.

"You are my right choice" he said while trailing hot kisses down her neck "you are my choice, Scully".

"You are too" she whispered as tears burned her eyes, overwhelmed by the force of her emotions.

Now they were here in California, after a bad movie, but hopefully a good night ahead of them.

"Where do you want to go, Scully?" he asked, squeezing her hand.

"I don't know" she answered, her small hand still intertwined with his, "maybe we can go have a drink?".

He nodded, smiling and led the way to call a cab.

—

They went to a quiet pub about twenty minutes away from the studios. Mulder put his hand on the small of her back, guiding her to sit down.

Scully surprised him when, instead of sitting in front of him, she settled next to him, resting her head on his shoulder.

"I'm having a good time" she said, turning her gaze out of the window.

Mulder slightly shifted his head to get a clearer view of Scully's face "Is that so? We've just watched a horrible movie in which we were represented like two idiots", he said smiling down at her.

"I don't care about the movie, Mulder" she answered, looking into his eyes, "I only care about _us_" she gestured between them "me and you".

Before he could answer, the waitress arrived to take their orders. Both ordered two Martinis, silently agreeing that some alcohol would have kept the conversation light. Scully was sipping her drink, Mulder's thighs brushing against hers, as the couple at the front table drew her attention.

A man with wavy hair, in his thirties, was moving a strand of blond hair away from the face of a little girl, probably his daughter, while the woman sitting next to her watched them with a tender look.

"I want that" Scully said suddenly, not looking away from the three of them.

"Wha-" Mulder looked up to see what she was talking about; as soon as he saw the object of Scully's interest, his heart almost missed a beat. "Scully..." he sighed softly, seeking eye contact.

"You know Mulder, for years I imagined what my life would be like... As a child I imagined myself wearing a princely white dress, thinking that I would've had at least two children and that I would have been a successful doctor," she said, interrupting him "but I I realized that not everything we want becomes reality" she resumed, lowering her eyes.

Mulder stared at her for a few moments, trying to rearrange his thoughts, in order to give a concrete answer: but that didn't come.

"You can still have that" he answered. Wow. _Smooth_ Mulder.

"You can still have that, Scully" he repeated with weak conviction "you can still try… There are other possibilities… Maybe if you quit the X Files…" his voice started trembling.

"Mulder" she started, taking his hand and squeezing it "I want that for us", she said searching for his hazel eyes, "if you want that too".

He finally looked at her, confused at first, but then his facial muscles relaxed.

He smiled fondly at her and touched her cheek. His Scully. How could she doubt the fact that he wants to be with her? In every possible way?.

His thumb started caressing her own and he took her to the small dance floor.

"What are you doing?" she asked, her eyes questioning.

"Dancing" he simply answered.

Scully's eyes grew soft, she gripped her arms around his neck and kissed him softly on the mouth.

"I don't want to hide anymore, Mulder" she breathed, while his long arms were encircling her waist "I want everything I can have with you". Her left hand rested on his heart and she felt it starting to quicken under her touch. "I know I'm not big at talking but…" she hesitated.

"Hey", he took her face in his hands "I want the same. I want you to be happy" he smiled at her, kissing her temple, the spot that once threatened her life.

"I am happy" she whispered, unsure of her reaction "I'm just scared".

"Scared of what?" Mulder demanded, lifting her chin up to look at him. Her blue eyes pierced to him and he felt exposed, as if she could be reading his mind, which she was always able to.

"Scared to be happy I guess" she looked down, her lip trembled "It never lasts".

"I'm more than willing to make this last" he said, stroking her porcelain skin.

She finally looked up and smiled at him, while they were lazily swaying off beat to some soft music currently playing in the background.

—

On the ride back to their hotel, Scully was laughing at some joke that Mulder had made on Skinner earlier, the alcohol keeping her light, until her laugh became a distant sound, captured by Mulder's lips.

She moaned softly, urging their kiss to deepen. His hands were in her hair and they were about to lose their balance trying to open the bedroom door.

She giggled and put her arms around his neck, hugging him close.

He broke the kiss and landed his mouth on her hear before whispering "It's not living, if it's not with you" in a quiet sing song voice.

Scully shivered, but then her lips turned into a smile, remembering the song that was played on their way back.

"I haven't given up hope" he said, looking down at her "Never".

"It's not living, if it's now without you" she repeated against his lips, closing the door behind them, while their hands kept searching for their way back home, until their bodies found each other, becoming a whole single being again.


End file.
